Death by Text

We obviously live in a modern age where information, communication and anything we need or want, is directly at our fingertips - accessible and immediate.

But, that’s not always a good thing; especially in the early stages of dating.  

Dating couples often make the mistake of texting everything, instead of talking on the phone or simply meeting in person, according to Claudia Duran, a Miami-based matchmaker with Elite Connections.

Duran said the meaning of text messages can easily be misconstrued, specifically if you don’t know this person’s personality from Adam. Type the wrong thing, coupled with having no context or familiarity to this person’s e-communication, and you may never hear from that person again. She calls it "death by text."

"Two people like each other and they're a little scared and they're a little hesitant," she said. "And so they text everything.” This includes the obvious over sharing, getting too comfortable without an emotional attachment to serve as your foundation, or texting something rude or inappropriate, which perhaps was not the intention.

Death by text is something matchmakers everywhere have observed time and again from their clients, resulting in a match that had great relationship potential, to go south. Text is wonderful for logistics, like communicating that you’ll be running late, can’t find a parking spot, or to follow up after the date with a “Thank you. Hope you got home safely. I had a nice time.” But the meaning of a text message can also be easily "misconstrued."

What's more, Duran said, some people take offense if their partner takes a (seemingly) long time to text back.

Some research backs up Duran's argument:

A 2013 study published in the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy found that men who frequently sent or received texts from their partner were less satisfied with the relationship— and their partners were, too. (On the other hand, women who texted their partner a lot said their relationship was more stable.)

The lead study author, and marriage and family therapist Lori Schade, told NPR: "Maybe it was a way for them [the men] to check out or not have to show up, by using their cellphone instead."

Duran, and us at Omaha Love, encourage all of our clients to either speak on the phone or meet up in person whenever possible. "Particularly when they start having feelings for each other," she added. 

It's really important to maintain that face-to-face interaction. Nothing can ever take the place of getting together in person and being in their presence. That is where chemistry and that true connection grows.