Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Texting and Modern Dating

The Texting Game.

In today’s world, texting is a common form of communication, if not the most used, when it comes to dating.  It’s a wonderful feeling seeing that special person’s name pop up on your phone screen and feeling a surge of excitement and electricity punch you in the stomach.

You met, exchanged numbers, and are now exploring the possibility of a romantic relationship.  Ideally, phone calls are the next best way of getting to know someone after face to face interaction.  Calling the person you are dating is now considered 'old school' and chivalrous, and it shows you care to hear their voice and get to know them right away.   But there is something about texting that you can’t beat.  Whether it’s actually having the words in front of you to read... or re-read over and over again (c’mon, we’ve all been there), or grins that go from ear to ear after receiving a sweet message, texting is the new form of conversation and flirting, and often the first means of getting to know your potential partner.

Then comes the hard part.  Interpreting the text, or sometimes, the non-text.  I spent many a night with my former roommate, sitting on the floor with a glass of wine, trying to figure out the texting game we now have to play when it comes to dating.  Conversations would often go something like this…

“What does he mean by that?”

“Seriously, how am I supposed to respond to that?”

“If he uses one more exclamation point, I’m done.”

Why hasn’t he texted me back yet?”

“Should I say this, or is it too soon?”

“Should I text him back right now… or wait 8 more minutes?”

The downfall of texting is there is plenty of room for interpreting a message wrong.  Something as simple as a smiley face could send the other person into a fit of frustration, or into a fit of love.

So how do you avoid getting caught up in this game that can cause so much confusion?

The golden rule of texting is less is more.  I cannot stress enough that going overboard on your texting in the first critical weeks of your budding relationship will not give you the results you want.  Keep texts simple by leaving the majority of your connection to your face to face interactions.  Sending an inside joke, a short compliment, or arranging details of plans via text are all encouraged while dating. Sending long emotional texts, x's and o's and multiple smiley faces or emojis, or an excessive amount is highly discouraged. While some move faster than others in relationships, it's always best to play it safe.  All of the mushy stuff can come later when you have both established that you are in a committed, mutual relationship.

The most important point is to realize that a text is just simply that… a text. If a person wants to see you, they will let you know – whether it’s a phone call, or actually arranging to see you, you cannot have a relationship purely through texting (at least not a long and fulfilling one!). Texting, if done right and naturally, is a way to share inside jokes, compliments, or pictures of happenings in your life. Or, when in the later stages of dating, a way to send thoughts of encouragement or sweet nothings to your partner.

So, when you get discouraged about the way your “texting relationship” is going, pick up the phone and call that person.  Ask them how they are feeling, and truly get to know them by talking or meeting up in person.  Taking the lead (guys, I'm talking to you) and making the first call sets the tone for the relationship. Be intentional.  Show them you care.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Social Media & Your Relationship

Social media outlets such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, etc. are all great tools for networking and meeting up with new singles. However, the use of social media outlets outside of being a networking tool can be a huge problem in a romantic relationship. Yes, social media can be used for staying connected with friends, family, and work associates. Yet, when in a romantic relationship, your interactions outside those categories have to be limited. If interactions outside those categories are not limited, then problems can occur in your relationship.

Not monitoring your interaction on social media may cause your significant other to question your loyalty or honesty in your relationship. For example, by having frequent interactions with a particular profile by constantly liking posts and pictures of the profile or sharing a particular profile's content on your own personal page may cause your significant other to believe that you have an interest in the particular person. Not only will this build insecurities between you and your significant other, but can cause trust to be broken in your relationship.

The solution to this problem is not necessarily giving your significant other your password to your social media accounts, but rather opening the line of communication on how social media will be used in your relationship. For example, have a conversation on how frequent you should interact with a person on social media outside of your professional and personal circles. Also, discuss with your partner what type of content is appropriate to be posted on each other's profiles. Most importantly, make sure that there is an open line of communication between the two of you. Encourage one another to be honest about issues or concerns that arise regarding social media use and discuss things that may bother you instead of letting them build up. If you and your partner agree that social media interactions are being used to stay connected with friends, family and work associates, then honor that. This will help prevent problems in your relationship due to social med

Monday, March 2, 2015

Break out of your comfort zone

If dating has not been successful for you so far, there is probably a reason!  People need to break out of their comfort zones and break their "dating rules".  People have rules ranging everywhere from not dating coworkers to rules about physical appearance such as not dating men with beards.  These rules are usually based on some sort of past experience, but you need to rethink your rules and be open to new experiences!

If you have too strict of rules you may miss out on some really great people.  There are already limited places to meet new people in an environment you're comfortable with.  Breaking out of your comfort zone is so important to open yourself up to new people, new opportunities, and new LOVE!

What are your dating rules keeping you safe from?  If you're reading this, you're probably single and your dating rules are probably keeping you a little too safe.

Stop listening to other people's dating rules.  Rules like not accepting a late invitation to a date because it is a sign of desperation are just plain outdated.  Maybe they had a last minute idea for a date or just want to see you and not wait a week.  A few more super outdated rules include wait three days to call her, don't get involved with a coworker/customer, always let the man handle the bill, don't sleep with him/her for ____ amount of dates, etc.

It's time to break out of your comfort zone.  It's time to break outdated dating rules.  It's time to break your dating rules.  It's time to open yourself up to new experiences and start enjoying dating!

As always, please comment, share, and let us know what you'd like to hear next!


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

What Women Should Wear on Dates

Picking out the right outfit for a date can sometimes be stressful! While we all want someone that loves us for who we are, not what we wear, it is still important to make a good first impression on your date. Nice clothes may not have a huge influence on your date, but bad clothes for sure will.

When in doubt, choose red! Red has been proven to be the most attractive color on a woman.

Go comfortable! A first date is not the place to wear a new, crazy trend. Wear what makes you feel confident and beautiful.

Plan your outfit out the night before! Try the outfit on, especially if it is new, so that you can avoid any possible wardrobe malfunctions. Your confidence will improve when you aren't stressed about what to wear right before the date.

Dress for the venue! If you are going out to eat at a local Omaha restaurant then jeans paired with your favorite sweater or blouse will be perfect. A good way to find out what people usually wear to a venue is to google the venue and look at their pictures. This seems to be a given, but make sure to consider the weather when you are picking out your outfit. Omaha dating can sometimes bring on unpredictable weather, so consider bringing a cute jacket along.

Change out of your work clothes! It's hard to feel great about your outfit when you've been wearing it all day. Take a shower, reapply your makeup, and put on your outfit (that you picked out the night before).

What you choose to wear says a lot about your personality, so remember to wear something that you love and feel confident in! A great rule of thumb to remember is that it is always better to be over-dressed than under-dressed.

As always, please comment, share, and let us know what you'd like to hear next!


Friday, December 19, 2014

What Men Should Wear on Dates

Picking out the right outfit for a date can be tricky. You don't want to overdress and go too fancy, but you do not want to go too casual either. If it is your first date with someone, you want to make a good first impression.

Depending on where the venue of your date is, matters. Dining at a local restaurant, your attire does not have to be super fancy. Nice jeans and a button up shirt would do. That outfit shows that you care enough to look nice for your date, but aren't trying to hard.

If going somewhere such as a symphony, this is where you need to get fancy. Black slacks and a collared dress shirt will look really nice. I would also recommend a suit jacket to tie everything together. This will show your date that you don't mind dressing up and look forward to spending the night with her.

There are things to avoid when picking out an outfit. If you are going to wear jeans, there better not be any holes! Jeans with holes are fine for painting a house or working on a car, but not for a date. Show respect for your date and throw on some nice jeans. Also, avoid t-shirts. We know you love your Red Sox t-shirt, but it is not appropriate date attire.

Now most of those things I've mentioned are for new or progressing relationships. For more of the long-term couples a t-shirt may be okay if going to the movies or something casual, but it's always nice to show your woman that you still take pride in how you dress when you go out with her.

Women like to feel special. So to make her feel special get dressed up and take her out! Not saying you have to do this every time you go out, but every once in a while, get dressed up and go out for fun.

As always please comment, share and let us know what you'd like to hear next!

-Tiffani L

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

First Date Conversations

We all can be nervous on a first date and can be at a loss of what to talk about. Some may ramble on about nonsense, where as others can be so nervous that they don't say a word. Both of these scenarios are very avoidable.

First, when talking about a certain topic, such as what do you like to do for fun, ask open ended questions.  Questions like how did you get in to that activity, should continue the conversation and hopefully that will develop into more knowledge of the other person. I mean that's what a first date is all about right?

Another thing to remember is to keep the conversation double-sided. It is sometimes hard for some people to get into a conversation, but try and keep an eye out for this behavior. If your date is sitting there listening and not participating in the conversation, try and get them involved.

On a date you are there to get to know the other person so talking about yourself the whole time may not be very helpful to you. When saying something about yourself, try and end what your saying with a question about them. An example would be: I have two dogs that I really love, but they are always getting into things, how do you feel about animals? That statement first says something about yourself, but then turns it over to the other person to take a hold of the conversation.

If you get one of those people that are very short with their answers and then don't ask a question back, the most you can do is try to keep the conversation going until you find a subject that really gets them talking. If you don't find that magic topic and the other person is not trying to join the conversation, they may not be worth going on another date with.

There are also things that definitely should not be shared on a first date. Unless the other person asks, do not talk about your exes. This can sometimes lead the other person thinking that you are not quite over your ex. Even if the other person does ask, there are still boundaries that you need to uphold. First do not trash that other person, no matter how bad it was. This can sometimes make yourself look bad, depending on what you say. Try and keep it to a minimal.

Another thing people don't like to hear is complaining or whining. If you don't like something or something upsets you, try and explain it in a casual way. An example would be if your order something you don't like, don't make a scene. Say something like oh I tried something new at least! Turn a negative into a positive.

Of course there are other things that you shouldn't mention on a first date, but just think if you don't want to hear about it, don't talk about it.

As always please comment, share and let us know what you'd like to hear next!

-Tiffani L

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Getting Out Of Your Comfort Zone

We stick to certain habits we have because its normal and its safe. A lot of people stick to their routine because they are afraid of what might happen if that changes. This can be anything from setting the alarm right before you go to bed, to always ordering chicken fingers at every single restaurant you go to. Switch up your routine! It can be fun to try things in a different order or try new things all together.

Switching it up is great advice for anyone in a long-term relationship and even in a new relationship. Others like to see that you are willing to try new things and branch out from regular activities. It can be exciting when your significant other plans something that you would not have thought of before.

Dating is an out of your comfort zone experience anyway so why not go big and go on or plan a date that you would not normally think of doing. Life is all about experiencing all that you can experience, so put yourself out there and you won't be disappointed.

If you are having trouble with dating and are not quite sure how to put yourself out there, hire a matchmaker. Matchmakers are there to help you find someone and it can never hurt to have a little help every now and then. And again this is a new experience and it may open your eyes to incredible people.

There is excitement in doing something new. It can also seem nerve-racking but once you do it, you may realize that you should have done that a while ago! Branching out and trying new things puts yourself out there. Sure you're not in your safe zone, but you can't stay in that zone forever.

So next time instead of ordering chicken fingers, try ordering something from a different section of the menu, it might open your mind to other things you still need to try.

As always, please comment, share and let me know what you'd like to hear next!

-Tiffani L