Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Texting and Modern Dating

The Texting Game.

In today’s world, texting is a common form of communication, if not the most used, when it comes to dating.  It’s a wonderful feeling seeing that special person’s name pop up on your phone screen and feeling a surge of excitement and electricity punch you in the stomach.

You met, exchanged numbers, and are now exploring the possibility of a romantic relationship.  Ideally, phone calls are the next best way of getting to know someone after face to face interaction.  Calling the person you are dating is now considered 'old school' and chivalrous, and it shows you care to hear their voice and get to know them right away.   But there is something about texting that you can’t beat.  Whether it’s actually having the words in front of you to read... or re-read over and over again (c’mon, we’ve all been there), or grins that go from ear to ear after receiving a sweet message, texting is the new form of conversation and flirting, and often the first means of getting to know your potential partner.

Then comes the hard part.  Interpreting the text, or sometimes, the non-text.  I spent many a night with my former roommate, sitting on the floor with a glass of wine, trying to figure out the texting game we now have to play when it comes to dating.  Conversations would often go something like this…

“What does he mean by that?”

“Seriously, how am I supposed to respond to that?”

“If he uses one more exclamation point, I’m done.”

Why hasn’t he texted me back yet?”

“Should I say this, or is it too soon?”

“Should I text him back right now… or wait 8 more minutes?”

The downfall of texting is there is plenty of room for interpreting a message wrong.  Something as simple as a smiley face could send the other person into a fit of frustration, or into a fit of love.

So how do you avoid getting caught up in this game that can cause so much confusion?

The golden rule of texting is less is more.  I cannot stress enough that going overboard on your texting in the first critical weeks of your budding relationship will not give you the results you want.  Keep texts simple by leaving the majority of your connection to your face to face interactions.  Sending an inside joke, a short compliment, or arranging details of plans via text are all encouraged while dating. Sending long emotional texts, x's and o's and multiple smiley faces or emojis, or an excessive amount is highly discouraged. While some move faster than others in relationships, it's always best to play it safe.  All of the mushy stuff can come later when you have both established that you are in a committed, mutual relationship.

The most important point is to realize that a text is just simply that… a text. If a person wants to see you, they will let you know – whether it’s a phone call, or actually arranging to see you, you cannot have a relationship purely through texting (at least not a long and fulfilling one!). Texting, if done right and naturally, is a way to share inside jokes, compliments, or pictures of happenings in your life. Or, when in the later stages of dating, a way to send thoughts of encouragement or sweet nothings to your partner.

So, when you get discouraged about the way your “texting relationship” is going, pick up the phone and call that person.  Ask them how they are feeling, and truly get to know them by talking or meeting up in person.  Taking the lead (guys, I'm talking to you) and making the first call sets the tone for the relationship. Be intentional.  Show them you care.


Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Social Media & Your Relationship

Social media outlets such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat, etc. are all great tools for networking and meeting up with new singles. However, the use of social media outlets outside of being a networking tool can be a huge problem in a romantic relationship. Yes, social media can be used for staying connected with friends, family, and work associates. Yet, when in a romantic relationship, your interactions outside those categories have to be limited. If interactions outside those categories are not limited, then problems can occur in your relationship.

Not monitoring your interaction on social media may cause your significant other to question your loyalty or honesty in your relationship. For example, by having frequent interactions with a particular profile by constantly liking posts and pictures of the profile or sharing a particular profile's content on your own personal page may cause your significant other to believe that you have an interest in the particular person. Not only will this build insecurities between you and your significant other, but can cause trust to be broken in your relationship.

The solution to this problem is not necessarily giving your significant other your password to your social media accounts, but rather opening the line of communication on how social media will be used in your relationship. For example, have a conversation on how frequent you should interact with a person on social media outside of your professional and personal circles. Also, discuss with your partner what type of content is appropriate to be posted on each other's profiles. Most importantly, make sure that there is an open line of communication between the two of you. Encourage one another to be honest about issues or concerns that arise regarding social media use and discuss things that may bother you instead of letting them build up. If you and your partner agree that social media interactions are being used to stay connected with friends, family and work associates, then honor that. This will help prevent problems in your relationship due to social med

Monday, March 2, 2015

Break out of your comfort zone

If dating has not been successful for you so far, there is probably a reason!  People need to break out of their comfort zones and break their "dating rules".  People have rules ranging everywhere from not dating coworkers to rules about physical appearance such as not dating men with beards.  These rules are usually based on some sort of past experience, but you need to rethink your rules and be open to new experiences!

If you have too strict of rules you may miss out on some really great people.  There are already limited places to meet new people in an environment you're comfortable with.  Breaking out of your comfort zone is so important to open yourself up to new people, new opportunities, and new LOVE!

What are your dating rules keeping you safe from?  If you're reading this, you're probably single and your dating rules are probably keeping you a little too safe.

Stop listening to other people's dating rules.  Rules like not accepting a late invitation to a date because it is a sign of desperation are just plain outdated.  Maybe they had a last minute idea for a date or just want to see you and not wait a week.  A few more super outdated rules include wait three days to call her, don't get involved with a coworker/customer, always let the man handle the bill, don't sleep with him/her for ____ amount of dates, etc.

It's time to break out of your comfort zone.  It's time to break outdated dating rules.  It's time to break your dating rules.  It's time to open yourself up to new experiences and start enjoying dating!

As always, please comment, share, and let us know what you'd like to hear next!


Wednesday, February 25, 2015

What Women Should Wear on Dates

Picking out the right outfit for a date can sometimes be stressful! While we all want someone that loves us for who we are, not what we wear, it is still important to make a good first impression on your date. Nice clothes may not have a huge influence on your date, but bad clothes for sure will.

When in doubt, choose red! Red has been proven to be the most attractive color on a woman.

Go comfortable! A first date is not the place to wear a new, crazy trend. Wear what makes you feel confident and beautiful.

Plan your outfit out the night before! Try the outfit on, especially if it is new, so that you can avoid any possible wardrobe malfunctions. Your confidence will improve when you aren't stressed about what to wear right before the date.

Dress for the venue! If you are going out to eat at a local Omaha restaurant then jeans paired with your favorite sweater or blouse will be perfect. A good way to find out what people usually wear to a venue is to google the venue and look at their pictures. This seems to be a given, but make sure to consider the weather when you are picking out your outfit. Omaha dating can sometimes bring on unpredictable weather, so consider bringing a cute jacket along.

Change out of your work clothes! It's hard to feel great about your outfit when you've been wearing it all day. Take a shower, reapply your makeup, and put on your outfit (that you picked out the night before).

What you choose to wear says a lot about your personality, so remember to wear something that you love and feel confident in! A great rule of thumb to remember is that it is always better to be over-dressed than under-dressed.

As always, please comment, share, and let us know what you'd like to hear next!